Lost and Found II

Listening to: Jal - Woh Lamhay

After almost 9 days here is the new posting, so what kept me away from updating my blog? First of all nothing as such happened which would made me write and plus extra work load made sure that I had nothing in mind except for how to complete my numerous tasks.

OK coming to previous post, I just read it again today and I must work on my writing skills(errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr). Just how could you people read that piece ??? anyways I hope with time I might just improve. Coming back to the main topic. I never knew I could influence some one that much or create problems in one’s life to such an extent that one is willing to withdraw from something which was a source of good entertainment. Hardly 12 hours after posting my message when I went online again to check if there is any response to my message( on that community). I was shocked to discover that the whole profile was wiped out, there was no trace of it except for few messages/testimonials left in others profiles. But there was no link back. This was something I wasn’t expecting, “you” really have surprised me there. Max I knew that either I would be ignored or my message deleted but maybe “you” thought that would not end the misery so another escape route was taken. Some might say “no it cant be you, there might be some other reason” yea there might be. But timing looks too close for that, or maybe it wasn’t “your” wish, maybe it was ”someone” else order that forced you to take that decision. Whatever the reason was it has left more questions than ever before.

If I had any idea this would happen I would have never ever left a message and would have made you continue. Anyways I apologize and may God bless you.

Lost and Found(or maybe not)

For many people this post will be a big “BLAH” and a piece of crap even a side of me is trying its best to stop me from posting it. But I wont stop its my blog and I can write whatever crap I want to.


Hmmmmm ok what made me write a post at 5 AM Sunday morning? I am not really sure maybe its excitement maybe its anxiety or maybe I feel I have achieved a prize of which I had little or no hope but always desired. Almost a year back a very special friend left without leaving any possibilities of making a contact again(or maybe that’s what I presumed). I felt a big vacuum had been created in my life. Whenever I felt like talking to someone or sharing out certain news I always and always thought of that person (Note: to rest of my friends please please don’t feel less important). Its natural you always give more importance to something you don’t have or have lost, same was my case. But nevertheless that person was a very important part of my life.

And now today I found that person again writing away on some online community, since I had joined that place I knew it if I ever gonna find its gonna be this place. And now after achieving it, there is a fear in my heart. A fear as if this is a dream or a fear that things have changed. Million questions are popping in my mind, answers I wanted, stories I wanted to hear, words of comfort I craved for. Was I missed as much as you were? Whenever you felt like talking to some one or cry your heart out, was ever possible presence of my existence crossed your mind? Did you seek out for me as much as I did. At least I believe the answer is yes.
Friends have always been integral part of me and I have always look towards them in times of happiness of sadness and to lose even an acquaintance is hard on me. So If by any chance "you" are reading this, do respond, don’t leave without your words. Friends are not meant to be discarded no matter how much difficult the situation is.

Ciao

Be Right Back

Being busy like anything thanks to extra workload pumped on us, that’s why am not able to post anything. Will be back soon as I get some free time. Till then take care all of you
and stay tuned ;).

Anger Management

Another burst up at work, not did I shout at anyone I just quietly asked him to go away. My inability to tolerate criticism specially negative remarks and sudden burst of rage might land me in difficult situations. Most of the times I find myself innocent and blamed wrongly for mistakes or lack of quality work and when it gets extended to a certain period I just refuse to cooperate, I am not sure I might be wrong in thinking myself innocent and they might be right or maybe I am right. I am scared that this unprofessional attitude might become permanent part of me and I might develop this as a habit, this can be fatal. I should keep my cool and deal with them some other way some other time, showing anger will not stop them nor will satisfy my soul.

One thing I believe that it’s a gradual process, starts off with a feeling of lack of achievements taking along numerous regrets mixed with anger of making stupid decisions and all it needs a remark or two from people I dislike most and rest is history. So either I need to sort it out myself or may take some anger management therapy, situation isn’t out of hands right now but I want to get rid of now and forever.

For Science-Fiction Fans

Was browsing through net when I came across this site, it has records of characters killed in fictional dramas. I wonder how he/they have managed to do that and no idea when it was last updated but surely it is a fun site for fiction lovers. Have a go

Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day to Everyone, May Allah bless this country and us and bring Justice and prosperity to this land of numerous sacrifices.
Ameen

Love Rescue Me - U2

Love rescue me
Come forth and speak to me
Raise me up and don't let me fall
No man is my enemy
My own hands imprison me
Love rescue me

Many strangers have I met
On the road to my regret
Many lost who seek to find themselves in me
They ask me to reveal
The very thoughts they would conceal
Love rescue me

And the sun in the sky
Makes a shadow of you and I
Stretching out as the sun sinks in the sea
I'm here without a name
In the palace of my shame
Said, love rescue me

In the cold mirror of a glass
I see my reflection pass
See the dark shades of what I used to be
See the purple of her eyes
The scarlet of my lies
Love rescue me

Yea, though I walk
In the valley of shadow
Yea, I will fear no evil
I have cursed thy rod and staff
They no longer comfort me
Love rescue me

Sha la la...sha la la la
Sha la la la...ha la la...
Sha la la la...sha la la la
Sha la la la...sha la la
Sha la la la...sha la la la
Sha la la...
I said love, love rescue me

I said love
Climb up the mountains, said love
I said love, oh my love
On the hill of the son
I'm on the eve of a storm
And my word you must believe in
Oh, I said love, rescue me
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah...

Yeah I'm here without a name
In the palace of my shame
I said love rescue me

I've conquered my past
The future is here at last
I stand at the entrance
To a new world I can see
The ruins to the right of me
Will soon have lost sight of me
Love rescue me

Sunday Trip

Sunday was fun, went out of town with relatives. And guess where we went, to the land of VL yes you have guessed it right Balochistan. My uncle is posted at Soumyani( read Soum Yani) beach, and a visit was long due so last Sunday was chosen for it( although I wasn’t happy about it, I get only one day for a looonnnggg sleep and it was ruined). After two hours of bus ride which I believe is the most fun part of any outing, we got to his place. It wasn’t the kind of surrounding I was expecting it to be or the image that was drawn in my mind by different people was slightly more breathtaking. Nevertheless still the scene was a great sight. His house is located on top of the cliff and from the tip one can see sea waves crashing against the shore. And I have heard at night it becomes quite a scene. Anyhow after lunch had little bit of soccer before we all got exhausted, it was good to see I still got my touch ;). Went to beach afterwards and you all know what happens next. But the best part was, there was no one on the shore except us and the poor crabs yessssss we had crabbing. I think we caught about 20 of them.

So on Monday we decided to have the crab party, I asked for a recipe from my office cook who happens to be ex-gymkhana cook and he suggested to me quite a mouth watering one. I won’t go into the details of how we managed to get eatable stuff out of the crabs (it was quite a eeewwwww for many). Anyways in the end the fried crabs came out pretty well and tasty ;). One thing which made me feel bad is the way you kill a crab, the only way to do is to boil them dead and that is a very very painful and slow death. May Allah forgive us.

A Day at Work

Ah weekend(don’t we love it) is here, although its been a painfully slow day(maybe because I am waiting so eagerly for clock to turn pass 6 PM). Major activities of the day consisted of handling adhoc tasks, avoiding sleep ;), reading articles (I will post an interesting link at the end of this post), and did I mention lunch at subway.

Resuming after 40 minutes…

Ok its 6 pm now yaaaaaaaaay time to rush home, though it doesn’t feel good when u want to run away from office and head home. It gives an impression that something is wrong, u aren’t interested in work anymore or not comfortable with environment. May be it's because of a strong inner feeling that I am not doing what I always wanted to do. Anyways time to go now.

Cheers

PS: check out this link http://www.popsci.com/popsci/computers/article/0,12543,592948-1,00.html. Its about a simulation game which predicts states of different countries in future. One of its subjects is Pakistan yes our dear land. Do read its fun ;).

Adios

Parents

Parents are the most precious blessings of Allah, there is simply no replacement of them. Two weeks back a colleague of mine lost her mother because of illness, today she lost her father(nobody exactly know the real reason). This is one of the tragic events one could hear about and to go through it, must be a real pain. Not yet recovered from one loss and another inflicted upon them. May Allah bless her parents and place them in Jannah. Provide all of her family sabar Ameen. Incidents like these refresh our minds about us being mortals and the importance of parents in our lives. So respect your parents no matter how much you disapprove of their decisions/actions. Never ever lose your cool on them(That’s for you Saad). If any one of you don’t have one or both of them please pray for their Maghfirat that’s the best gift you can offer them.

`©

I feel so dejected and defeated
I feel so lost and humiliated
I know its not the end
But certainly its not the way I wanted it

Doubts

Having doubts regarding faith, check these sites

1. http://www.omeriqbal.com/muslimsparadise.html
2. http://www.islamicissues.info/qa.html
3. http://islam.tc/ask-imam/index.php

Disclaimer: I will not take responsibility of any answers/views/interpretations expressed in these sites.